Pictures

A friend took a picture of me the other day. An awful picture.

Why did it look so awful? Because it showed me from the side, I was wearing a baggy sweater, I was slouching, and… (wait for it)… I looked fat.

I am fat, and in real life, in mirrors, in videos, in front of other people, I am very happy and secure in my body. But once you get into pictures… maybe it’s the frozen in time aspect of it all, but it doesn’t look how I picture myself.

But why? Am I just used to being thin all my life until now, that I still have a mental picture of myself as a thin person that no amount of staring at mirrors can counteract? Or is it that notion of attractiveness is so tied up with thinness that when I feel good about my body I start picturing myself as less fat?

Bristol Palin’s “Baby Bump”

Apparently some people think that Sarah Palin lied about her pregnancy to cover up for her teenage daughter. Among the “proofs” is this family photo in which, people claim, Bristol Palin looks 6 months pregnant.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Not all women have flat abs. No, not even all thin ones. It is absolutely despicable to go around suggesting that thin women just don’t gain weight in the stomach like that unless they’re pregnant. It’s despicable that the suggestion of a “baby bump” is followed up by the assertion that “other parts” of her body look pregnant–OH MY GOD 16-YEAR-OLDS HAVE BOOBS WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO. It’s despicable that we live in a society where women have to hide the slightest hint of a pot belly or face unwanted speculation about the state of their uteri.

Newsflash: people have bellies. This is normal. Expecting a young woman to not have an ounce of fat on her stomach is not.

EDIT: Further “evidence”: this photo, in which Bristol dares to stand sideways while not sucking in her stomach enough. Have these people never seen a real woman before? Most of us look like that when we wear tight clothing. I’m sure that if we had a side view of Willow in that empire-waist dress she’d look just as “pregnant” as Bristol does.

EDIT 2: Possibly the only sane comment on the subject at Daily Kos. Immediately followed, of course, by the assertion that teenagers just don’t go from not chubby to slightly chubby in 5 months. (Altogether, everyone who has never gained a bit of weight over the span of five months, raise your hand!… I’ll wait.) This isn’t politics; this is about scrutinizing a teenage girl’s body, no doubt making her more self-conscious about her image than a “slightly chubby” girl already is.

I won’t argue with the statement in this post that the chest sticking out is “a normal body reaction when sucking in stomach muscles,” but the poster misses the obvious explanation: any woman with a slight pot belly will try to suck in her stomach most of the time, especially if (as I have read elsewhere) her classmates were spreading rumors that she was pregnant.

I’m curious

• Where did this stereotype about fat people being dirty, smelly, and lacking in basic hygiene come from? Do people just forget the thin people with body odor or who don’t take showers because “everyone knows” that thin people aren’t gross?
• When was it that someone decided that women needed to shave in order to be clean, beautiful, and acceptable?
• Why is it that few men shave their armpits, and yet men are never told that they’re neglecting basic hygiene for not doing so? And how can people deny that such a double standard is sexist?
• And I think the biggest question is, why is the internet so offended about the state of my armpits? And would they be so offended if this were not a fat acceptance blog?

Newsflash: it is not my job to be attractive to you. Anyone who thinks I should base my choices about my appearance on what they think is severely deluded.

Why I Am Fat

I think I’m lighter than most people in the Fatosphere. I still have some thin privilege. I’ve never lost a job or a job opportunity because of my weight (although I haven’t had many job opportunities yet, so that could change). I’ve had a doctor tell me that I needed to lose weight or I will get type 2 diabetes, but the majority of my doctors have treated my health issues independent of my size. I don’t have to go out of my way or pay extra for clothing because I don’t usually wear plus sizes. I do not have trouble fitting into one seat on a train, plane, or subway. I do not have to worry about medical equipment not accommodating people of my size. I’ve also had a different fat experience than a lot of people here. I was always a thin child. I never felt pressure to diet. I discovered fat acceptance at about the same time as I became fat. With my size and experience, learning to love my body was not as difficult as it is for some.

It is not my intention, by calling myself fat, to co-opt others’ experience and difficulties, nor to act as if I am better than people larger than me who have trouble loving their bodies or embracing fat acceptance. But I believe that I benefit a lot more by embracing and accepting myself as fat than by accepting the idea that thin is normal and healthy and I should diet but am just too lazy. I also think it’s important to call myself fat in order to show people what the obesity epidemic really looks like. I think Deniselle put it best here:

If we expect epople who weigh 200 pounds, or have a BMI of over 30 or 35, to look HUGE, we are probably only responding to the media frenzy of showing 400 lbs+ bodies in articles about “obesity”. The truth is, if you look at me and deduct 20 pounds? That’s still obesity. I’m much more representative of the “average obese person” than someone who weighs over 400 pounds. So the obesity epidemic? Totally concerns me. Keep that in mind next time you read an article about it.

As Sandy Szwarc points out (many, many times, in fact), people with a BMI ≥50 make up only 0.5% of the population, and people with BMIs ≥40 make up only 2% of the population. When people hear that 30% of the population are obese and another 30% is overweight, they are bombarded by headless images of those people who make up 2.5% of the population. My BMI fluctuates between about 30.0 and 30.7. That’s much more representative of the “obesity epidemic” than the “morbidly obese” are–and at the same time, even the “morbidly obese” don’t look as fat as we expect them to.

Another important point, I think, is that even though not everyone experiences hatred and prejudice for their size, even “normal” weight people have body image issues. Everyone benefits from fat acceptance, from learning that your body is fine just the way it is.

EDIT: From the link about the largest people in the world:

Walter Hudson (1944? – 1991) of Hempstead, NY (born in Brooklyn, NY); 5 ft 10 in, measured at 1197 lbs… Despite his massive size, Newsday reported that he was extraordinarily healthy: his heart, lungs, and kidneys all functioned normally, while astonished doctors noted that his cholesterol and blood-sugar levels “showed the chemistry of a healthy 21-year-old.” Even so, activist-turned-nutritionist Dick Gregory managed to convince Hudson that losing weight was necessary to save his life… Hudson died in his sleep after years of intermittent starvation dieting.

Francis John Lang, aka Michael Walker (b. 1934) of Gibsonton, FL (born in Clinton, IA); 6 ft 2 in, believed to have reached a maximum weight of 1187 lbs.. In early 1972 Lang was hospitalized in Houston for a suspected heart attack, at which time he was estimated to weigh between 900 and 1000 lbs. His symptoms proved to be caused by an inflamed gallbladder, probably aggravated by his weight loss, and the examining physician declared his heart to be “unusually normal.”

Man, name withheld (ca. 1939 – ca. 1986), of New York State; just under 5 ft 7 in, 1050 lbs. His death was due to complications following a massive panniculectomy (“tummy tuck”) to remove fat tissue… According to his physicians, he was healthy when he checked in, and his “past [medical] history was unremarkable except for extraordinary weight all his life.”

Remember, fatphobia is all about being concerned for fat people’s health!

EDIT: For some reason I seem to be getting a lot of visitors outside of the fatosphere on this post. If you have no idea what fat acceptance is and are genuinely interested, there are some links on the right-hand side of the page to help you get started. Please also check out the comments policy.