Pre-Obese: Because Overweight People Keep Gaining Weight Forever

Apparently “overweight” is also called “pre-obese” now?

Problems Keep Coming

The post at Shapely Prose on The Fantasy of Staying Exactly as I Am really spoke to me.

Also I have been having some of the usual food problems. This is having to do with my new sleeping schedule. I tend to go to bed at 4 or 5 a.m. and wake up at 11 or 12. It’s probably not ideal for me (shift that two or three hours earlier and it’s perfect), but that’s what my body is gravitating towards, especially now that I’m no longer on antidepressants, and since I’m working at home and make my own schedule I’ve decided to stop fighting it.

This is relevant because I keep having a guilt reaction to eating after midnight. It doesn’t make sense. If I’m waking up at 12, then the meal I eat at 12 is breakfast, the meal I eat at 6 is lunch, and the meal I eat a little after midnight is dinner. But because it’s after normal “dinner time,” it’s snacking, and therefore bad, right?

I’ve mostly gotten over the impulse to not feed myself that comes with the depression, and it’s frustrating for this to come back now.

Let me say, since this blog is now apparently All About My Psychological Health, that otherwise things are going well. I have been writing a lot, albeit not on this blog, as it doesn’t earn me even the pennies that my other writing does. It’s harder to write for fun when you’re writing for money, I’ve found, which saddens me.

Starving and Overeating

(No, I’m not dead, although I thought I was for a little while. Posting will continue in a completely unpredictable manner until further notice.)

You know what I’m tired of, other than constantly having trouble reminding myself to eat when the depression is telling me I’m not hungry or I shouldn’t care? All the people who respond to a problem about not eating with something to the effect of, “That’s terrible; when you start eating again you’ll overeat.”

First of all, no, you’re just making up the calories that your body’s been missing; it’s hardly ideal to have them all at once, but it will make my body happier than not having them at all. Second, I’m fucking up my body right now; I have screwed up energy levels, I can’t understand my body’s hunger signals, and I can’t keep a balanced diet because I’m just so happy to get anything into my stomach when I can finally convince myself to eat that I don’t have the energy to think about that right now. You see the effects of this, and your biggest concern is the threat that I might start overeating? There’s something very wrong with these priorities.

Throw-shit-in-a-pot soup

This isn’t going on Party In My Kitchen because there’s no pictures, and because I figured I haven’t posted here in forever so I should write something here. Especially as a follow-up to my last post to prove that I’m eating again.

This is how I roll when I cook: I just throw shit in a pot and hope it turns out good. And most of the time it does. Here’s what I did tonight:

Sautee one chopped onion, two cloves minced garlic, 2 sliced leeks, and 5 sliced carrots in a little olive oil. Add 1 c. adzuki beans (soaked overnight), 1 c. wild rice, 1/2 c. red wine, 8 c. veggie broth, 1 tsp. ground ginger, and 1/4 tsp. ground star anise. Cook until beans are done; add 3 c. frozen corn and heat through.

The star anise was something I bought on a whim at an Asian market and wasn’t sure quite what it would do to the soup, but it turned out wonderfully. It adds this subtle sweet fragrance and a very slight numbing sensation. The corn made the soup all colorful and cheerful.

So there you have it; happiness in a bowl and a shitton of leftovers in my fridge. Today was a good day. (Except that the first time I tried to post this WordPress erased the whole damn thing. WTF, WordPress?)

Friday Fluff

Yeah, I’ve been quiet and busy lately. School & such.

I have had a couple of posts in my head for a while but I’m having trouble getting them down. It will happen eventually.

Not dead yet, though, and that’s the important thing.

Anyway, have some comic opera:

Man chains daughter to bed to make her lose weight

It always depresses me when people respond to articles like this one, about a man who starved his daughter to make her lose weight and, when he found out she was sneaking vegetables, chained her to her bed, with something to the effect of “WTF? 165 lbs. isn’t even fat!”

Especially when stories like this one, about a woman who died from drinking too much water while on a diet, receive comments about how she was obese and “could have died at any time.”

The problem is that this girl was abused and starved, not that she wasn’t even fat–as if a parent starving an obese child would somehow be okay.

Short post, because this made me WTF

“I do not select overweight people on the jury panel for reasons that, based on my reading and past experience, that heavy-set people tend to be very sympathetic toward any defendant.”

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I have more to write but not much energy today. Thanks to all who left comments on the last post. (If you’re wondering why your comment didn’t get through, please read the simple but handy comments policy.)

Go Read This

Obesity–what it is and why we care. A good introduction to fat acceptance, if you haven’t had one already.